Self Acceptance & A New Perspective

I'm gonna let you in on a little secret...
I struggle with body positivity and body love every single day. I have for as long as I can remember. This may not be obvious, as I still choose whatever looks I like regardless of what "body type" they're for. I say its a secret, only because the clothes that I wear, the pictures I post, and the confidence I hold my walk in say otherwise.
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I was always the chunky kid, the thick girl. I never looked like the "pretty girls" with their dancers body, smooth skin, and petite stature. Though rare, the word "fat" was thrown my way a few times. 
But I was lucky in my raising. Raised by a strong and powerful lioness, I was able to disconnect from the bullying in my early years; I knew it was a reflection of them and not me. 
By the time I hit middle school, much of the bullying had ceased as they saw they couldn't break through my confidence and instead accepted who I was. 
But still, I never looked "attractive", or what we're programmed to believe what that word means. Though I remained confident in my identity and self acceptance, the confidence in my looks and body remained null. 
My twenties brought on a new health journey. I taught myself to cook, fell in love with crossfit and weight training, and realized the full potential my beautiful, strong, and thick body had. 
But as of late, that love of my body has waned, incredibly. My emotional eating and drained energy has come back full fold, and this once strong, and powerful body has become soft and insulated. 
However, this time around there is a twist. This time, I am no longer thinking of what others see; only what I feel. This time, I'm still confident in the clothes I choose, the swim suits I wear. This time, I realize I just want my body back to health, back to the feeling and not so much what the mirror reflects back at me. This time, I know I'm a beautiful being, a miraculous engine so complex in keeping here day after day. 
This time, I'm sad for my body, and not because I don't compare to those in magazines.; because it's a beautiful carrying case for my soul that deserves my adoration.
It's a big difference, an intense realization. But it's a healthy one 💖
Really what I'm saying is, don't hold worth to the mirror. Love your body for what it is, but take care of it the way it takes care of you. Beauty is inside and not out, and the more you radiate that inner light and shine brightly, the more the world will take notice 🌟

Shares welcome if you know someone in need 🙏